Moo

Hey guys,

   I  couldn't really think of anything to write or post or stuff because I haven't been on this blog for a couple of months. Like almost a year. So here's a conversation with an imaginary cow names "moo"


Me: Hey cow, what's your name?

Cow: Moo. Moo?

Me: Hey Moo, my name is ---- (i can't give ppl mah name or some cereal killer might find this and murder my cereal)

Cow: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo.

Me: So, whatchya doing?

Cow: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo. Moo?

Me: Me? Oh I'm just talking to an imaginary cow in my head who is being milked by a farmer. Wait, where is the farmer.

Cow: Moo Moo Moo.

Me: Oh really? How did he taste?

Cow:  Moo Moo Moo, Moo Moo Moo. Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo.

Me: I have some salt in my pocket? But I guess I can't give that too you know. The farmers already being digested in your gastrointestinal system.

Cow: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo?

Me: A gastrointestinal system? I have no idea. I'd just google it.

Cow: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo!

Me: Ha! That's sucks for you cuz'  I have fingers and you don't.

Cow: I know where you live. I bet you taste as tasty as that farmer did.

Me:  Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo?

Cow: Why yes, yes I can speak in human, actually I have just stolen you voice. And now I will tell you how I killed and eat the farmer and why I did it.

Me: Moo Moo Moo Moo? Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo?!

Cow: You want your voice back? Well, first you will listen to my tale, about the cruel old farmer who may share the same fate as you!

Me: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cow: So anyways.. I was sitting here munching some grass, when the farmer's daughter, Sally, came to milk me. And she pulled my utter so hard, I kicked her in the face and sent her flying 50 acres past. They thought that Sally ran away or something but if they tried they would find her body buried under one of their crops. It actually benefits them. The soil will have plenty of nutrients and also Sally was really bad at milking us cows.

Me: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo?

Cow: How did I bury her? Oh, I used my Ferrari. Good thing it was red though, I had to run her over a couple of times and the blood blend in perfectly with my car. Anyways afterward the farmers wife, Jason, came out to milk me. Jason was a boy pretending to be a girl so he could marry a farmer and get free wheat. He is obsessed with wheat. However Jason was very fond of murdering cows and he decided to murder my girlfriend, Leila. So in the night, I got a knife and slit Jason's throat. Then I buried her in the forest. There was only the farmer, and his son, Caleb, left. Caleb made fun of me and called me fat. So I slapped him, knocking him unconscious and gave him to my friend Slendy to finish him off. Finally the farmer thought that it was time I go to the butcher. When he shipped me off to the butcher, I broke off the lock of the cage and then I threw him in the cage instead and put him in a cow suit. Then I stole his voice as well. When the butcher was done with him, I wanted to try human so I took a piece and it was delicious.

Me: Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo?

Cow: Why am I killing you? Cuz' you made fun of me not having fingers.

*Cow proceeds to bite me and I throw the salt in his mouth:

Cow: NOOOOOOOOOO, Salt!!! THATS MY ONLY WEAKNESS. WHO TOLDD MOOOOOO?!

Me: That's what you get cow!!!!

Cow: MOOOO MOOO MOOO MOOO! MOO MOO MOO MOO MOOO!

Me: I have way too much free time.

Cow: Moo, Moo Moo Moo.